So the question is: to use or not to use? (jargon, that is). There are certainly arguments for both “plain language” and “jargon” when attempting to function in a professional environment. I prefer to do this in a pros/cons type format, as I don’t feel strongly either way. I can clearly see the benefits of each, and yet think it is interesting to go into where some of it may have evolved from. I shall not let myself be so riddled by cynicism today, as yesterday I was feeling quite “antijargon” as I pondered the ghosts of employers past. So off I go again, on the merry go round. 


Ah, but first: (yes, there is always something else I feel is pressing to detail first these days…)

fruits- an excuse to use libs’ favorite word!

In honor of my nieces baptism, we celebrated at the Downtowner today. I will not review what I thought of their pancakes, and instead just say the fruit and coffee were splendid…


I had been watching Elf this evening, and gearing myself up for some holiday cheer, but then the network decided to play it again right after, so I changed the channel to some music award show. And who should I espy with my little eye? Why, none other than resident cheesebag Justin Bieber! Lo and behold, the tot’s voice cracked right on the live telly! I laughed heartily for about a minute and a half. More on him, Miley Cyrus, Taylor swift, and the other pinnacles of all that makes me itchy on another day…


Back to jargon for pete’s sake! (who the dickens is this pete???)


To Jargon or Not To Jargon:


To Jargon
-I find jargon to be incredibly useful for accurately and easily describing a situation to a co-worker. For example, by using the term “5 point scale” I can relay to a peer how I deescalated a kiddo in the throes of  adolescent angst without whipping out a bunch of papers and worksheets and describing what I said to them. It makes life easier. Or, alternately, if you’re at a retail location and your manager shrieks “shopbacks” at you, you don’t have to listen to a tirade of what to do with your time, you just go return the items to their departments.


-Jargon is useful for alerting personnel to a “situation” without alarming the other peons in the general area. At one retail location, we had “fox calls” which entailed a cashier such as myself paging a “Mr. ____ Fox,” and input the name of a manager on duty (MOD) to notify them of a theft in progress. Similarly, at my current location we page “Mr. Houdini” if a child has momentarily been unaccounted for… I promise this always ends well though. Thus, no one else need worry or the thief be tracked skulkily (a bit unlike what goes down in Empire Records, I might say…)


Not to Jargon
-When I ask somebody at a computer store about something that I want or do not want for my lovely macbook, IT IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY AND PRETENTIOUS TO USE PHRASES THAT ONLY THE TECHIEST OF TECHIES MAY HAVE HEARD. My usual MO for this situation is to completely ignore them when they do this, then keep repeating the question different ways using plain language, until they are forced to deign to my level of stupidity and just answer the question. I must add here that I always preface these interactions with, “I’m not sure what all of these things are called, but this is what I’m specifically looking for a computer/ camera/ phone/Ipod/ TV/ Printer to do.” Thus, these pretentious hacks know EXACTLY how much I know, and I believe them to be either bragging, or so lost in their world they don’t even see it.


-When you are using jargon to try to upsell something or scam somebody into something they don’t need by trying to confuse them. I find this obnoxious and unethical. I relaid to some friends/family members today my history of not excelling in the world of retail due to my refusal to due this past my “rude awakening” about the real world at the age of 15/16 years old. For example, when you go to get your car fixed and you hear, “carburator…40 clicks and a… brake pad… rotor…this particular model… warranty…alternator fluid and combustion…” Dude- if I may be so kind, if you don’t tell me what will or will not make my car explode when I drive once every 2 weeks or so… I will hurt you. JUST USE PLAIN LANGUAGE WITH ME. This is the type of thing that I will end up not being a car user for someday, I think. Another similar area is home repairs. Don’t BS me about my leaky drains or the refrigerator or water heater, just quote me some prices and tell me what will happen if I do or do not do as you say. I PROMISE you will end up making more money this way. People can smell a damn upsale a million miles away, and will not appreciate it if you do it. If your company tries to force you to do this, I apologize. I’ve been there. There has GOT to be another way though… ideas?


-Similary, doctor/dentist/nurse/pharmacist- Please just tell me what I need to do to get better. I don’t care if it’s called atopic dermatitis or “dry skin,” just please get me in and out of the bloody urgent care before daybreak. I will still find you professional if you use plain language. I will still buy the 40 dollar skin cream even. Just don’t make me google something or have a panic attack when what I have is dry skin from Minnesota winters/ washing my hands a lot/ genetics…


To sum up as best as I can, 


To Jargon- when interacting with coworkers and you need to save time, why not use some “in words” that are meaningless to the general public? When you want to let a few people know some pertinent info without giving the game away or alarming others, why not throw some jargon around? When you feel the need to show a little solidarity with fellow coworkers, go ahead and use a term they will relate to and appreciate. And for crying out loud, when you need an insurance company to pay for something, use the jargon! It will impress (for evidence of some hypocrisy on my part, see below…)


Not go Jargon- for the aforementioned nefarious sales schemes employed by retailers, technicians, sales associates, service workers, techies, and even restaurateurs. Your true colors are showing people, and I’m exposing you. Also, when communicating with clients, please just use plain language. No one cares if you sound impressive. I sure don’t, and I try not to use it with my own clients because I think it’s a bit obnoxious to try to make others fight to understand you, especially in an interpersonal field. Get a grip and communicate effectively, not ornately.




Jargon seems to evolve from naming ordinary things with “in” words to make them more interesting, or from one-time situations where they stick, or in order to impress someone or sell someone something by confusing them, or to get an employee to do something without thinking about it, such as filing a report or selling something or attending to the “daily QET report” without realizing how utterly mind numbing it really is. 


What do you people think? Where on earth does jargon come from? Does it irritate you in your own field or do you have your own favorites that create a more “club” like atmosphere at your work? More importantly, do you have issues with jargon when you are trying to survive in a world outside your own?


Also, if anyone has any feedback about the Miley Cyrus skit on SNL this weekend or wants to commiserate with me about her existence, you will be rewarded somehow. Similarly, Taylor Swift seems to have gotten some nasty looking veneers put on, and they just make her look like hilarie duff. I think veneers are ridiculous looking. why are they so shiny?




Ahhh, I digress. I need a night job. I love comments.