The true meaning of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is eating your weight in leftovers spending time with family and friends, reflecting on things we are thankful for, and if we’re lucky, enjoying time off of work!
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| Pumpkin pie, pumpkin decor |
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| roasted roots, stuffing |
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| green beans, cranberries, sweet potatoes in my favorite dish |
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| crescent moon! |
It is not, I believe, getting up at 3 am and fighting other adults in line at Toys R Us until the cops are called because you are butting in line and tattling on other kindergartners adults who are also budging.
I clearly have issues with Black Friday. I did in fact go shopping today. I went to one store, I used my free coupon, and I did not buy crap I didn’t need. The restraint was like amphetamines to the brain (or maybe that was just my stuffing hangover from breakfast…)
Don’t get me wrong- I have no problem with people going shopping the day after Thanksgiving, looking for deals, and starting the holiday season with a bang. What I DO have issues with is the disgusting deluge of ads and marketing crap that have been raining on my parade for the last TWO WEEKS. I can’t open my mailbox, my inbox, or walk ANYWHERE without hearing about Black Friday Deals, EARLY Black Friday Deal “leaks,” THANKSGIVING DAY sales, in case you CAN”T POSSIBLY WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! FOR SHOPPINGGGGGG!
Ugh. It should be noted here that I’m not crazy about shopping/ consumerism in general. I fared not so well at several retail jobs due to my disgust with trying to convince people to buy crap they didn’t need. If you need something, fine. If you just buy crap because it’s a good deal, you deserve to lose your money to the devil local retail giants.
How do they get us? How did I end up buying a pair of tights and a 16 oz microwaveable coffee mug with a lid (it is awesome, I will say. It was a fantastic buy and I”m so excited to use it). Why, stores use their marketing jargon of course, to trick us and guilt us into buying crap on an arbitrary day to compete with other loser retail giants.
What kind of words? I’m so glad you asked! How on earth will I research this? I know, I’ll look in my recycling bin for the 400,000,000,000 fliers I was sent! Some of them repeats!
-“while supplies last”- this one is from Showtime in my e-mail inbox. Sorry Showtime, but I don’t think you will run out of shirts that say, “shane’s got my back” in livestrong yellow anytime soon. Sure, Weeds is a good show, but I guarantee 5 people total will buy that shirt. you will never run out of this crap. Ever. lies.
-“don’t miss”- this one on lots of toy catalogs. Because if you miss this sale, you are a BAD PARENT. You might NEVER see a deal this good again, will not be able to afford it, SUPPLIES MIGHT NOT LAST, and you will probably be tossed out on your keister when you are older, with your grown children refusing to take care of you, because you did not get in line at 2:15 am to buy them that Wii game that will be obsolete in a year.
-“lowest price”- how do they know this? They do not know this. They have not checked ebay. They probably haven’t even checked other stores. Don’t take anyone’s word for this crap, and panic and buy crap you don’t need since it is clearly the lowest price. ever.
-The Target book (not ad, book. It’s like 100 pages) is full of confusing holiday puns and cheese. Some of my favorites are “give jolly/save merrily” “wrap up more savings” “oh what fun you’ll have at target.com” “scan joyfully and often” (seriously. that’s in there.) “serve up christmas spirit with savings on top””visions of flat screens dance in their heads”
and my personal favorite “give priceless memories on one of a kind gifts” – this is next to photo paper, memory cards, and ink cartridges- ah yes, those are INCREDIBLY ORIGINAL, ONE OF A KIND GIFTS for the one you love. Don’t bother knitting that sweater. Don’t look for their favorite book on amazon. Buy them a one of a kind memory card at the bargain basement price of $34.99 (I recently found out this is not in fact a low price for a memory card. Man-go-round is a vision of knowledge about where to get these things. Ask me if you ever want to know!)
-Finally, I have issues with products being marketed on a “green” gift to give others. Now, listen carefully. I believe in living green, however one might do that. The super icky part is when “green”ism and eco-friendly terminology is used to make people buy things they don’t need, thinking they are using products that are good for the environment, whether or not they really are. How green is it to buy a bottle of “green” clorox bleach from the store, when you could use natural products found in the home such as baking soda? How green is it to buy a bunch of stuff you don’t need because it’s on sale and it says it’s “eco friendly” (based on what regulations…) and you will feel great if you buy someone that green gift for christmas!
I have an idea. How about instead of listening to all this crap and buying what we’re told is a great deal, we think considerately about our loved ones, and buy them or make them or procure otherwise something that will make them happy and enrich their life. And if that gift happens to be in your Black Friday flier, you’re a lucky soul. But I’m pretty much willing to take my chances that I’ll find another bargain in the next month or so without standing out in the middle of a cold Minnesota winter night getting in a fistfight about Tickle-me-Elmo.
Ahh, now isn’t this just as palatable as those neverending leftovers? Tell me your thoughts, and tomorrow will be another glorious day.
Tata!
