Happy Independence Day Everyone!
I spent the weekend with family and friends at our cabin. The drive there was sunny, idyllic, and fairly traffic free.
The weekend was beautiful, filled with sun (perhaps a bit too much), food (cookies, cole slaw, falafel chips, and more cookies) beer (Hamm’s) and good company. Alas, a few hours ago it was time to leave so I could get back to the “real world” and back to get unpacked before work tomorrow.
My drive started out lovely:
…lovely and serene, right?
Well a short 20 minutes later, I began my descent into the seventh circle of driving hell. The weekend cabin commute. A whole new level of abominable driving. Begin rant:
Rule #1: THOU SHALT NOT TAILGATE! I do not care if you have diarrhea. I don’t care if you think you need to be somewhere and that you are more important than every other driver. If you drive your stupid pickup so close to my bumper that I can see the wedge of chew embedded in your lower lip in my rear view mirror I will not speed up and get any closer to the long line of cars in front of me. I might, however, mess with you and slow down a bit to see the steam emerge from your hair sprouted ears. So step off, b&$%#.
Rule #2: Remove cell phone from sphincter ear, then drive D-bag! All of you jerks staring at your cell phone screen as you text, swerving, weaving, and leaving obscenities in your wake? Watch the road. You morons with your phone attached to your ear, not noticing when your blinker is on for approximately 17 miles? Get off the road. Just leave.
Rule #3: Like, Relax, Man! This is a catch-all rule for freeway driving. Office Space covered this one pretty good as they mocked the driver who switches lanes every 14 seconds, conVINCED that this lane will now miraculously open up and they will get to BYPASS THE OTHER 10,000 CARS ON THE ROAD! Newsflash, mouthbreathers- you are CAUSING THE TRAFFIC JAMS! Your ridiculous constant revving of the engine followed by slamming on the breaks interspersed with cutting people off and causing people to have panic attacks? You aren’t just “part” of the problem. You are the ENTIRE problem. You deserve an eternity of stop and go traffic, I hope you enjoy your karma you spazz-bots.
….AHHHHHH, that feels much better! I should rant more often! Take it easy out there on the roads, friends- there are scary drivers about! JOIN THE FUN: What kind of drivers make you go nutbags crazy? Do you get mad back at them or ignore them?
and fret not if you are not so angry as myself- tomorrow feels like a RAVE day!
Meri
I like your rants! We often drive to the Lake of the Ozarks on weekends and often get caught up in such traffic. Years of driving have taught me (and my insurance rates reflect it) that slow and steady wins the race.
Thanks! It feels good haha. I’ve learned to slow down and keep a steady pace too- better gas mileage anyway!
I totally hear you on all of these, but esp the “relax”. And yes, Office Space covered it nicely (as it does with many parts of life in general). Some people feel like they have somehting to prove on the road….or they’re making up for something….hmm come to think of it, probably the later.
haha- I agree. I feel the same way about HUGE trucks and Hummers… what are we overcompensating for? 😉
I can’t deal with traffic. This is why I don’t drive on long trips on the highway. My husband can’t really deal with it either, but at least I can pretend to be asleep. Before you hit the traffic, though…those farms really are beautiful!
I wish the whole drive was as pretty as the beginning stretch!
Rant away! I’m totally digging the rants, both the good, the bad and the ugly! You know what I freaking hate? People who don’t use their turn indicators. How the hell, are you supposed to know the miraculous time when they are going to decide when to turn? We are not all on the same wave length after all…
That is incredibly irritating too. Urgh.
Look at those barns! Love!
The kind of drivers I hate are the ones I come across every time I come home from my parents house. The limit is 60km/h so they’ll go 70km/h and pass me angrily … but then when we hit the beginning of the freeway where it’s 90km/h they stop at 80km/h and slow everyone down! I don’t get it, it happens every time though! SO frustrating.
x Jasmine
haha I know what you mean- I think a lot of times people just want to pass you but don’t really want to go that fast… like its a stupid competition or something. Hello- its not a race track…
Spot on with those complaints, especially the last one. It’s annoying when I keep passing the swerving car a million and one times because they keep moving back and forth. And, no, I will not let them in front of me. Ha!
haha- sometimes I ignore the spastic cars, and sometimes I mess with them 🙂 Depends on my mood.
don’t even get me started here! as someone who commutes daily…ugh, major road rage. some people are just clueless on the roads! definitely with you on all of your rules!
I’m so glad I get to walk to work- although pedestrian commutes have rages all their own… like cars trying to hit me…
OMG I hate hate hate tailgaters. That just infuriates me more than anything. And totally with you about getting off the phone.
Your country pics look a lot like where I was yesterday…it is nice to escape the city sometimes…but a rude awakening to re-enter it!
I tend not to let traffic get to me anymore. The one thing that really bugs me is seeing someone texting and having it affect their speed, attention to the road, and control… stopping in the ezpass lane of the 25mph tollbooth tends to get me going too 🙂
oh yes- or when people go super super slow on a freeway on-ramp? yikes!
haha!! this is funny! I hate it when people get up my arse. And when there’s a queue of traffic they think it makes a difference if you cant get a fag paper between your bumper and theres, like those couple of inches are going to make such a difference to their busy day.
Very well put! I’m cracking up 🙂
I agree. Dude! Chill! If you’re going to get that worked up even in those scenic surroundings then maybe it’s time for some anger management classes. Just saying.
yes! It drives me crazy (haha, pun not intended) when people ruin my relaxed mood by their spazzing out on the road.
I hate crazy drivers
but I am too stuck on your barn pictures!
LOVE THOSE
Thanks! I see faces in two of them every time I drive by. Well, at least the eyes and nose!
We almost had a problem here, Meri. I thought you were refering to tailgating, as in partying on your tailgate before a football game! haha. But yes, that does suck. I refer to it as “someone is on my butt”…guess that doesn’t sound much better, haha.
Nope, that’s one kind of tailgatin I ain’t hatin on 🙂 I suppose we think alike, as I tend to screech “GET OFF MY A$$” at tailgaters before taking the “high road” and ignoring them…
hmmm i don’t get too annoyed on the highway, except when people don’t look before they move lanes thinking that there is no one else on the road!!! (when they should be the ones yielding…). hahah. hope u had a wonderful weekend meri!
ha- that’s almost as great as the multiple lane change with no blinker…
Bravo for calling out those cell phone drivers {and texters … those are the worst!} … they are just accidents waiting to happen! Glad you made it back safe and sound and hope you feel a bit less stressed after unloading your travel woes here!
♥ Cat brideblu
you know- I really did enjoy the vent!
awww amaziing
Haha I think you’re description of drivers that should just leave the roads sums it up quite perfectly! You’re in my head! 😉
I totally understand the rant! Bad drivers annoy the hell out of me!!
Love, love, love the barn photos!! Gorgeous.
Thanks! They are so beautiful, as well as the farm land too.
My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t use their turn signals! So irritating! Ironically, the only thing I’ve been pulled over for is that very thing… but I swear it was an unusual situation! Like turning left and swinging over into the furthest lane! whoops!
This post was hilarious!
recordthejourney.blogspot.com
Agghhhh!!!! I hate when people leave their turn signals on forever!
well you make the drive look nice and calming with those great photos! 🙂
UGH! People are such idiots!! I had this person behind me today from the first stop sign almost till the end. But then instead of waiting to turn left at the (red) light like a normal person, this person turned left into a parking lot and through to the other side. That REALLY pisses me off. WTF, you’re really THAT important that you can’t wait at a red light?? UGH!
I also hate when people don’t read road signs and zoom past people in the left lane just to cut everyone off to get into the right lane. Seriously. Again. What is wrong with people. Wait your turn. Be respectful. I understand some people may be unfamiliar with certain roads/places, and I’m trying to be nice and let some people in front of me, though really I want to zoom by them and never let anyone in front of me.
Phew.
Ohmygosh, I LOVE that you posted this 🙂 I have been wanting to post a list of like this too, because I have been getting terrible road rage lately!! 🙂 Man, just off the top of my head, drivers that bug me…when they stop to look at accidents (this might be the worst. I was stuck in an hour of traffic at 10:30PM because everyone was looking at an accident on the OTHER SIDE of the freeway!!), when they wash their windshields on the freeway (don’t they realize that they splash the car behind them?!), when they take forever getting into the left turn lane (and they slow down like crazy before getting into their lane), when they drive REALLY slow in the left lane of the freeway (65 in the carpool makes me yell in my car). And this is just a minor one, but I deal with it everyday – when there are three lanes and there are three semis, one in each lane! Can’t they all get into one lane so we can all pass?!
Whew. Okay, I feel much better now 🙂 I’m SO glad you posted this, so I could get this off my chest with someone who understands!! 🙂
Good rant! I hate when you’re at a stop sign or a stop light where you have to yield first and someone else has the right of way, so you wait for them to go and when they won’t go you start to pull out and then they immediately start to go.
hahaha…I loved your rants. I am in traffic every morning and afternoon, so I definitely feel your pain. I hate other drivers!
I don’t drive, so I’m always a passenger, but I TOTALLY agree with the first two items! Especially the first one. My mom and I have encountered several of them over the years. SO annoying! In a way, it’s kinda keeping me from getting my license (well, that and crappy depth perception and a general fear of getting behind the wheel).
I have atrociously bad depth perception too- especially if wearing my glasses!
Confession time:
Once, while I was being tailgated by a particularly annoying driver in the left lane, I lost my mind.
I took my foot off the accelerator completely and coasted until at least 20 cars had passed me in the right lane. Car behind me was hosed as they couldn’t get over (going too slow), so they just had to watch and RAGE.
As soon as the offending jerk had passed me, I moved over to the right lane.
I am a child, and it felt real good, man.
this maneuver is most enjoyable if you laugh maniacally while executing the move…
WELL said!! Idiot drivers make me insane!! lol! I love your barn/country pics…just gorgeous!!
Those pics look amazing! I love being out in the country! I don’t envy your drive to the cabin too much though. Sounds like you encountered some *lovely* drivers!
Oh my goodness, I have SUCH issues with bad drivers. All the ones you mentioned. I can’t handle it. I can’t handle people who can’t merge properly. We have tons in our city who treat them as a yield. Nothing irks me more than people stopping traffic because they don’t listen to the rules. And just distracted in general. Gah! Driving needs your full attention!