Hey everyone! Did you enter my giveaway yet? If not, click here (or scroll down to yesterday).

Then continue reading for something else quite tasty: a delicious RANT! With impeccable timing for Rants ‘n’ Raves month over here at Meri-goes-round, blog friend Christianna has launched the inaugural “What the Hell Wednesday” at her blog to celebrate all things beyond human reason. Her initial WTF style post is pretty priceless- I suggest you check it out. And then come back once more to finish reading this post, which I promise I’ll get to!

Right now!

Ahem. Shopping…. hmmm where shall I start? There are many kinds of shopping I adore. Grocery shopping, farmer’s markets, book stores… yes please!

Clothes shopping? Good Gravy, no. I adore clothes. I wish I could afford all of the clothes I lust after on style blogs, magazines, and teevee. Or at least borrow the clothing items for a quick wear. Actually going to the mall or a clothing store? Leaves me needing, well… “retail therapy,” so to speak. What do I find most detestable?

Why clothes shopping signals the end of the world… (dramatic? me? never!)

1. The music: No, I’m not talking about the Electric Fetus or Let it Be (RIP) or any other cool hipster record store. They tend to do music pretty well. I’m talking about stores that blast crappy dance pop remix eruptions from hell so loud your ears duck out in defeat and your brain is too tired to resist the flashy cheap crap being sold. I’m not naming names, but if I were Abercrombie and Fitch comes to mind. So does Express and Forever 21, Wet Seal and Charlotte Russe. I’m not even going to talk about the hot mess coming out of the speakers at Marshall Field’s when I worked there. On repeat. All of the time. Please retail mafia dons- have mercy on the souls of your employees and turn that crap off, or at least down a few notches…

2. The salespeople: Gah! Back off! I’m already overwhelmed by the music, and now someone is talking to me? (Or their lips are moving, I can’t hear them talking though…). I’m okay with a simple, “can I help you find anything today,” or similar, but the socially awkward teenagers that follow you around the store asking about your day, desperate for a sale? The commission ain’t worth it, baby… I’ve been there. Have some dignity and just walk away.

3. The clothes: Something about shopping at a store where I used to be one size… but now I’m not even close… and then trying on two pairs of the same jeans, same size, same style… but one is high water short and the other fits… well, DOESN’T FIT. Why is there no regulation in clothing size? For crying out loud, its supposed to make things easier, not harder! There should just be actual measurements on clothes, and everyone should just know their general measurements. Forget size 10 or size 0 or the new “00” which I believe comes directly from stupid size inflation, as it makes no sense otherwise…and what is an XXS BCBG? are people getting smaller or are clothing manufacturers just making less and less sense? ARGHHHGGFLFLLLL! (that’s a real noise I just made).

4. The other shoppers: No, I don’t hate humanity in general. Promise. But when I’m already distracted by the techno seizure in my head, bombarded by acne-ridden teens in skinny jeans with perfume samples, and trying to figure out what kind of size I might be, your kid is not so cute. And those teen girls shouting in their cell phones as though they are trying to yell to the actual physical location of the receiver of the call? They work on my last nerve.

5. The parking: Okay, so I should explain that for a long long time the closest mall was the Mall of America. The parking at MOA is always pretty bad. Certain times of year, however, it is utterly mind numbing. Weekends? Christmastime? (aka October through January)? Back to school? Awful. No traffic directing degenerate in a vest is helping one bit, either. I think they laugh at us as they stand there. Maybe I should join in on the joke? It certainly beats the fuming behind the wheel…

So, with some restraint that I still have left, I’m going to end rant. It feels good to let it out to a certain extent, but then I start to get cynical. So never fear, I’ll be a bit cheerier tomorrow, when I have an exciting surprise for you all!

Do you like shopping for clothes? Do you still go to stores or do you prefer online shopping? Any obnoxious parts about shopping/ malls that I missed?

Meri