Hey everyone! Did you enter my giveaway yet? If not, click here (or scroll down to yesterday).
Then continue reading for something else quite tasty: a delicious RANT! With impeccable timing for Rants ‘n’ Raves month over here at Meri-goes-round, blog friend Christianna has launched the inaugural “What the Hell Wednesday” at her blog to celebrate all things beyond human reason. Her initial WTF style post is pretty priceless- I suggest you check it out. And then come back once more to finish reading this post, which I promise I’ll get to!
Right now!
Ahem. Shopping…. hmmm where shall I start? There are many kinds of shopping I adore. Grocery shopping, farmer’s markets, book stores… yes please!
Clothes shopping? Good Gravy, no. I adore clothes. I wish I could afford all of the clothes I lust after on style blogs, magazines, and teevee. Or at least borrow the clothing items for a quick wear. Actually going to the mall or a clothing store? Leaves me needing, well… “retail therapy,” so to speak. What do I find most detestable?
Why clothes shopping signals the end of the world… (dramatic? me? never!)
1. The music: No, I’m not talking about the Electric Fetus or Let it Be (RIP) or any other cool hipster record store. They tend to do music pretty well. I’m talking about stores that blast crappy dance pop remix eruptions from hell so loud your ears duck out in defeat and your brain is too tired to resist the flashy cheap crap being sold. I’m not naming names, but if I were Abercrombie and Fitch comes to mind. So does Express and Forever 21, Wet Seal and Charlotte Russe. I’m not even going to talk about the hot mess coming out of the speakers at Marshall Field’s when I worked there. On repeat. All of the time. Please retail mafia dons- have mercy on the souls of your employees and turn that crap off, or at least down a few notches…
2. The salespeople: Gah! Back off! I’m already overwhelmed by the music, and now someone is talking to me? (Or their lips are moving, I can’t hear them talking though…). I’m okay with a simple, “can I help you find anything today,” or similar, but the socially awkward teenagers that follow you around the store asking about your day, desperate for a sale? The commission ain’t worth it, baby… I’ve been there. Have some dignity and just walk away.
3. The clothes: Something about shopping at a store where I used to be one size… but now I’m not even close… and then trying on two pairs of the same jeans, same size, same style… but one is high water short and the other fits… well, DOESN’T FIT. Why is there no regulation in clothing size? For crying out loud, its supposed to make things easier, not harder! There should just be actual measurements on clothes, and everyone should just know their general measurements. Forget size 10 or size 0 or the new “00” which I believe comes directly from stupid size inflation, as it makes no sense otherwise…and what is an XXS BCBG? are people getting smaller or are clothing manufacturers just making less and less sense? ARGHHHGGFLFLLLL! (that’s a real noise I just made).
4. The other shoppers: No, I don’t hate humanity in general. Promise. But when I’m already distracted by the techno seizure in my head, bombarded by acne-ridden teens in skinny jeans with perfume samples, and trying to figure out what kind of size I might be, your kid is not so cute. And those teen girls shouting in their cell phones as though they are trying to yell to the actual physical location of the receiver of the call? They work on my last nerve.
5. The parking: Okay, so I should explain that for a long long time the closest mall was the Mall of America. The parking at MOA is always pretty bad. Certain times of year, however, it is utterly mind numbing. Weekends? Christmastime? (aka October through January)? Back to school? Awful. No traffic directing degenerate in a vest is helping one bit, either. I think they laugh at us as they stand there. Maybe I should join in on the joke? It certainly beats the fuming behind the wheel…
So, with some restraint that I still have left, I’m going to end rant. It feels good to let it out to a certain extent, but then I start to get cynical. So never fear, I’ll be a bit cheerier tomorrow, when I have an exciting surprise for you all!
Do you like shopping for clothes? Do you still go to stores or do you prefer online shopping? Any obnoxious parts about shopping/ malls that I missed?
Meri
Shopping for clothes can be such a huge pain…but one thing I think you forgot is the temperature in a lot of the stores. I don’t know if you’ve experienced it much, but it seems like more and more stores I go into, they’ve got the heat cranked up..making it pure misery to try on clothes. They’re sticking to your body and making me more and more impatient.
haha- well in MN we’re just happy its not freezing for about 10 months out of the year, the rest of the time its so hot that the A/C is cranked back to the antarctic to keep us happy 🙂 It’s actually too cold for me sometimes.
hmm i only like shopping for clothes when i’m in the mood for it :). my favorite stores (anthropologie and jcrew) is a weakness for me…….. no comment. lol.
It definitely makes a huge difference what mood you’re in… I usually have to shop alone because all of a sudden I reach “done” point and then I’m a crab apple until I can escape.
I take full responsibility for this rant! Afterall, it is I who used to drag you to the shopping mall when you were a wee tot and then play hide and seek angrily with you while I tried to actually accomplish some shopping. You were trying to tell me something but I was too dense to get it. The other fun game was you and your siblings trying to kill each other and make me look like the worst mom out there or at least the dumbest one for dragging 4 little girls (obviously against their will) shopping. The most exciting was when we made a day of it and went to a shopping mall that was out of town and so we also had a crabby car ride home to endure. I think the rootbeer floats and corn dogs were the highlights of the excursions for your sisters, but I know you didn’t even eat corn dogs. I think a chocolate chip cookie got your attention. Aah, such sweet memories! Seriously, should I take credit for your rant? MGR
Haha- I think the real moral of this story is that shopping can be traumatic! But so can amusement parks, vacations, etc… and I enjoyed those too! I always got the cheesy fries and rootbeer float at A&W- that was the culmination of the mall trip for me 🙂 I have a lot more fun shopping with you these days, but sorry if I spazz at you when we’re out some times!
I used to work at Old Navy, and the music seemed to be worse there than anywhere else (they love cheesy stuff and crappy remixes. Yuck!) I’m so happy to be out of there! Although, I have to admit that my guilty pleasure is rummaging through the clearance of above said stores (forever 21, rue 21, anything with the number 21. oh and charlotte russe) don’t judge me!
My problem is knowing when to stop spending money. I think that now I can blame my impaired judgement on the overwhelmingly terrible music
🙂
haha- well the only reason I know about the terrible music and salespeople (like you and I) is that I am a sucker for those clearance racks too!
Hahahahaha thanks for linking up! I highly agree with you about shopping. I’m not a huge fan either. It’s Target all the way for me. I like to call Forever 21, the black hole, cause no matter how fast you try to be, it takes hours. Starts out like a good idea, and by the end you only liked 4 things and are sick of it all.
I’m glad you enjoyed the first ever WTHW! I can’t wait to come up with a great weekly What The Hell rant every week!
Forever 21 is so overwhelming. I have to limit my Target exposure because I spend too much money otherwise… total shopping binge. I enjoyed WTHW so far, and you know I have more rants in me 🙂
AE is probably the worst offender with how loud their music is. Well, maybe they’re tied with Abercrombie. I will do anything to stay away from shopping. On occasion, I don’t mind shopping with a friend. So obviously most of my shopping is done online. I try not to buy online unless I have free shipping or if the discount I’m getting is so good that I don’t mind the shipping charge. And you’re right- MOA parking is horrendous. I don’t personally like the MOA anymore. It’s gotten so GHETTO. Not to mention I was almost mugged. So, no thanks. But if I do go there, I go right when the stores open, so I can get in and get out! Oh and Ikea…. oh ikea…. their store is so confusing and you have to walk through the entire place to get out. Frustrating!
Obviously I have a lot to say on this topic! 😉
haha- I think anyone with regular MOA experience probably has a lot of ranting to do. The only good part is the gourmet food store- I steal all of the pretzels and dip for free refueling haha!
I’m such a non-woman – I hate shopping for clothes and shoes in general unless I need something (like a couple years ago when I decided that the one trend I would follow is to have a Little Black Dress in my closet). I guess I don’t see the point in keeping up with the latest styles. Plus, I already have enough clothes and shoes (about 15 pairs – light, I know).
Not sure you missed anything. Except that oftentimes, the merchandise (not just clothes) is disorganized (mostly sizes and/or brands are in the wrong spot). That annoys me.
Sometimes I end up limiting my shopping to smaller stores with less clothes just so I don’t get overwhelmed. It’s kind of pathetic, but I just can’t handle racks and racks and racks of clothes…
i love to shop for clothes, but i have to be in the mood to browse. most times i first browse online and then shop to find that specific item. most times i’m in and out of a store fairly quickly. i seem to have less tolerance for the parking these days…so i have been doing a bit more online shopping. also i hate when people just HANG OUT. i know i used to do this when i was in high school…but seriously, if you’re not shopping or dining…pls leave 🙂
[oomph.]
Urgh, and call me old but the teenagers are the worst. They are so loud, i don’t understand it at all.
You didn’t mention the mirrors and the horrible lighting! Gah.
haha- that’s because I don’t often get as far as the dressing room- I tend to try stuff on at home, especially in the winter when I don’t want to take off like 10 layers of clothes at each store.
You’ve hit it on the nail Meri. I hate shopping for clothes for all of the above reasons. As such, I really don’t do it very much. Just not worth it, in my booK!
I am glad “the future” is here, and that I can online shop if I need to. Especially with free shipping. Plus, then I get packages, which I love…
Haha – I am with you 150%! I REFUSE to go clothes shopping in stores – for all your aforementioned reasons! Online shopping is really the only way I do it now a days. I’ll gladly take the hassle of returning via mail over the hassle of shopping in-store!
I tend to do online shopping if the shipping is free and if there is a store near me to return it to (and luckily, with the mall of america I’m almost always in luck, even the obscure places)
I’m very much an in-store clothes shopping person. I just like to know that the clothes I bring home actually fit. I hate wasting time sending online stuff back.
I need to learn to try stuff on even when I feel lazy, so I don’t spend so many trips back and forth returning and buying new things I see when I go back… man I’ve turned into my momma for sure!
Ha! I 100% agree with this post. The last time I decided to go shopping (I had been putting it off) I came home and had the hubby open a bottle of chilled white wine and rub my feet. It was a rough day.
I usually realize halfway through a shopping rant that I need water or food or caffeine, and if I fix the problem can usually turn the situation around haha- but wine sounds pretty good too 🙂
Abercrombie’s music kills me every time I go in the store. I would like to say that is why I don’t shop at A&F anymore, but that would be a lie. I just hate their clothes.
http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88
haha- what’s the best thing about not being a pre-teen anymore? Not feeling pressured to buy hideous abercrombie and fitch clothes. Ah, adulthood. I love it.
Ugh, yeah, I hate malls sometimes. I have to be in the right mood to shop, and to even bother trying clothes on. Although I like shopping online, I don’t like to buy a lot of clothes online, because they never end up fitting like I expected (or at all!):/.
It seems like they often don’t even LOOK like what I was expecting- my best luck ordering things online is when there is an item at a store that didn’t have my size, and I order my size in it…
I gotta say I love clothing shopping. Of course, I’m only at the clearance racks and looking for the best deals. I also love thrift stores. So much fun. I do only go on weekdays and only to malls I know pretty well, where I know exactly where to park that other people don’t know about.
spinning-threads.blogspot.com
The difference for me (and probably most people) is that shopping is ONLY tolerable/ fun if I’m in the mood to look around. When I actually need something but don’t want to be there, that’s when the oscar the grouch meri comes out!
I can’t help it. I’m a shopper at heart. Clothes are my favorite. Now if only I could find a money tree. 😉
hehe- well if you find one can you let me in on the secret? 🙂
As a fellow Minnesotan, I am all too familiar with the trauma that is the MOA. The theme park, the teenagers, the slow walkers, the tourists, the perfume smell flooding out of stores like Hollister. I swear I don’t hate humanity either, but that place can be a nightmare! The saving graces are the gourmet foods and the cheese store. Yum!
the boyfriend gets pretty spazzy when we’re at a mall, especially the MOA, together- when people walk without looking really gets him. IKEA too.