No, its not a post about the inner workings of my GI tract, nor does it have anything to do with me and my rockin’ abs.

Nope, this is a post about food on TV! I’ve been whipping up batches of dried fruit/ fruit chips all week long (nectarines, sweet treat pluots, bananas, and dapple dandy pluots). A proper post will be sure at some point, but in the mean time… just turn on your TV! If you don’t know where to start, I’ll give you a primer…

Meri’s Belly-vision Telly-vision Awards

Keepin’ it Hot in the Kitchen Award: Giada DiLaurentis, (from whatever her program is called). This woman has the spark of a feisty youth and the wisdom of a goddess. Her smile lights up the kitchen and she is excited about everything. All cleavage aside, she is a marketer’s dream. Hell, she’s everyone’s dream!

Best TV Program for your inner nerd or attention span problem: Alton Brown’s “Good Eats.” The camera work and fancy tricks. The actually useful kitchen strategies. The dorky knowledge and history thrown in before you even notice you are learning. This show is super addicting.

Most confusing Foodie Crush: A Tie!

Contender #1: Bobby Flay (Grill it! etc) Is it the ginger crew cut? The lisp? The possibility he’s a wife-cheater? ( can’t remember if that is him or someone else)? The fact that he primarily grills things I’ve never eaten and have no desire to start eating? I have no idea, but despite his not adding up on paper and being sort of old, I still have a bizarre crush on him.

Contender #2: Anthony Bourdain (No Reservations). Now Anthony has more obvious appeal as a lady killer (or at least he did 5-10 years ago). He’s charming, funny, he hates Rachel Ray… but the reason this one is confusing for me is that he is probably 50 years old (not my general dating pool) and more importantly- he consistently degrades vegetarians. Hmmm. Do I have a strange penchant for uber-carnivores?

Most over the top: Paula Dean. No explanation necessary, ya’ll.

Food show I love to watch even though I never want what they are cooking: Lydia’s Italy. She is simply the most adorable TV personality, and the way she cooks food makes me feel like I’m getting a neck massage on a beach with a side of Xanax. And perhaps some stuffed olives. Viva Lydia!

Most obvious man-crush: Jamie Oliver. Again, no explanation necessary.

Best use of Theatrics and tension-building music: Iron Chef. The topic could be beets, and you’d think the world’s very security is at stake. Plus, I like Cat Cora and I don’t know where else to find her on TV.

There you have it my little foodies! Now who makes your list? Do you have any celebrity foodie crushes like me? Am I confusing hunger with love for another human? 

Meri