Good evening friends! Straight to it tonight…

After Project Runway, America’s Next Top Model is arguably my favorite reality TV show. Here’s why:

1. Tyra Banks: No one- not Patty from the Millionaire Matchmaker, not Jerry Springer or Ricki Lake, not Tim Gunn or even Simon Cowell entertains as well as Ms. Banks. Whether she’s shamelessly promoting herself, rocking adult one-sies, doing a crazy dance, or using herself as an example of perfection for the millionth time, this woman performs. Even though I can’t quite decide if she’s really as narcissistic as she pretends to be, there is NEVER a dull moment.

2. The other judges: Well, there’s Nigel Barker, who nurses a narcissistic personality disorder all his own for one. Then there’s Mr. Jay with his ridiculous makeup, silver hair, and sing-song voice. My personal favorite would be Miss Jay, who has some of the best legs (male or female) I’ve ever seen, and surprisingly doesn’t seem to take any of this show very seriously. Back in the good old days there was Stock Bitch Character Janice Dickinson, who enthralled me to the point where I scanned her autobiography at one point and fell even deeper in love with her. Twiggy was sweet when she was a judge, and brought something a bit different. Paulina Porizkova was okay but I kept having to google who the heck she was. In my humble opinion, the current judge Andre is a poor man’s Miss Jay and makes me long for the days of Janice or that guy with the glasses.

3. The formula: So sue me- I like a formulaic reality show with a beginning (recap of who went home last week, boring house stuff), middle (challenge and photo shoot) and end (photo reveal and sadistic judging session). My favorite part is always when they show the photos- I’m a sucker for a “how its made” type show like this.

4. The theme song: Correct me if I’m wrong, but is this not Tyra herself slurring, “You wanna be on top?” over and over with various remixes over the years? Accompanying said cacophany, the models of the year wear ridiculous themed wear and look stupidly at the camera in turn. Tyra has slowly taken over more and more of this intro over the years, I’ve noticed…

5. The part where no one talks about how none of the winners ever actually become real models. Not even Adrian Curry, who went on to marry Peter Brady with her reality star fame, has ever been seen outside of the Surreal life. I wonder if Tyra thinks no one will ever notice this- or just knows that no one cares.

…And a few things I find sort of annoying about the show (yes, they exist…)

-When they fight in the house. Yawn. You can’t do better than the Real World, so stick to what you know ANTM!

-When they make them redo what they are wearing in judging, like it matters whatsoever.

-When they have episodes with little or no photo shoots and too many inane challenges. I don’t care if they know how to put makeup on, show the photo shoot!

-the editor from 17, and the way she talks when she guest judges.

-The way there is always, inevitably, a character who goes abroad at the end of the season who is culturally insensitive. I know Americans are ignorant, but I don’t want to see it on my smutty teevee programs- I want to pretend these people don’t exist!

I know more people out there watch ANTM, since its in its 87th season in about 4 years right now- so who else likes this show? and more importantly, What ridiculous or obnoxious celebrities do you nonetheless love to watch?

Meri