I am sitting in my stormy tower clad in a black leather catsuit. Drinking a glass of vodka neat (my heart is so cold I need no “rocks.”), I idly read a magazine.  Tori Spelling’s face smirks up at me from a smutty gossip magazine I picked up at the library today, and I cackle with evil glee at tonight’s topic…


No my name ain’t baby… it’s Meri, 
SCARY MERI if you’re nasty…
(Meri’s favorite Cinematic Villains)


–Cruella De Ville (101 Dalmations)- Sure, she was horrible to the puppies. But she did have a wicked cool hairstyle and maybe the best villain name ever outside of the Bond movies.


–The Riddler (Batman Forever)- Jim Carrey’s freakish word nerd is a villain after my own heart. He actually “pun”ishes people for not solving his word riddles. (I think he’d be proud of what I just did in that last sentence, for the record). Bonus points for the orange buzz cut and fearless lime green question mark suit.

Riddle me THIS!

–Hercules “the beast” (Sandlot)- When we finally see the adorable doggy at the end of this film, we are left in amazement that the behemoth savage dog we’ve been expecting is so darn lovable. Also, I need to include this movie because last night’s list embarrassingly discluded Benny “the Jet” Rodriguez, a huge current childhood crush of mine.


–Ursula (The Little Mermaid)- Again, like Cruella- the HAIR! Plus, who doesn’t want to be a sea witch? I kind of do…


–Professor Snape (Harry Potter)- Well, I know he’s borderline on the whole “villain” thing, but I basically thing Alan Rickman’s portrayal of him is so dead on funny that he wins over both Umbridge and Voldemort. Mostly because I can’t stand looking at Voldemorts nylon over the head face.


–Alotta Fagina (Austin Powers)- Because as a pre-teen, this joke was funny for about 2 years straight, I didn’t even have to think of jokes, it was its own one liner…


–Regina George (Mean Girls) – “One time she punched me in the face… it was AWESOME.”


–Mugatu (Zoolander)- I continually forget how nearly perfect this movie is, in large part because of Will Ferrel’s villain and his farty foamy latte. 

happy HAPPY happy HAPPY!

–The mutilated toys (Toy Story)- because I know kids who deconstruct their toys into freakish new robot toys, and these kids aren’t evil at all, in fact they are pretty darn cool.

I like the baby head spider…

–Fiona (Josie and the Pussycats)- Because I love Parker Posey, and I actually just love this movie. 


–Shooter McGavin (Happy Gilmore). Runner up- Ben Stiller’s cameo as the crazy Nursing Home Nurse “You will go to sleep, or I will PUT you to sleep.”


…. and the winner, my personal fave…


–Miss Hannigan (Annie)- I didn’t really “get” Carol Burnett’s Miss Hannigan as a kid. I sure do “get” it now, and I like!

“we love you miss hannigan…”

Sooo… obviously, these aren’t totally “serious” movie villains, but they are some of my favorites! Do you guys like funny movie villains or super creepy scary ones (Hannibal Lecter, The guy from Seven, etc)?


-Meri