Before Friends and Will and Grace, before my Nick at Nite phase with Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, and I Love Lucy, there were a bracket of TV shows I watched that I like to endearingly call, “crap made for kids.”


Scheduled during the prime after school and Friday evening time slots when kids are glued to the boob tube, these shows on TGIF (ABC), Nickelodeon, and TBS were a genre all their own. Now, I don’t know if it is because the years coincided with my elementary years, or if it was a trend, but the early 90s seemed to be just rife with this junk. To both honor and razz these shows, I’ve compiled some awards…


Back by my perseverating on the past popular demand, I give you:


Crappy Shows I Wasted my Precious Youth Watching:
And the winner is…


Most obnoxious overall cast of characters:
Full House. I’m not even talking about Kimmy Gibler- I loved her. I’m talking stupid Stephanie, Danny Tanner, Joey “woodchuck” Gladstone, Michelle and her stupid high ponytail and dumb plot lines, and of course Steve, the dumbest boyfriend who ever lived.


Most preposterous overall concept:
Alex Mack. Um, she turned into a silvery Capri-sun like liquid at will and was able to do as she pleased? So basically this show just made every kids’ dream into a sort of bizarro reality. I do like Larysa Oleynik though. and her backwards cap.

A rare moment not in mercurial form…

Most abhorrent flip-flopping between silly and “serious” plot lines:
Worst theme song:
Most interesting name:
Boy Meets World for all three. They would vacillate between Sean joining a cult (“serious”) and the “rollercoaster of doom” (silly) at will. The theme song was an abomination/earworm, and the name Topanga is either the best or worst name from this era, I can’t decide.


Best use of the “awkward family” as an overall theme:
Step by Step. The Brady Bunch might have invented the blended family concept, but Step by Step perfected it. I love Suzanne Somers. I love Karen’s squeaky voice. I love the rampant sarcasm, and the fact that it was set it Wisconsin. Hell, I just love this show. Still.


Best pre-teen angst show that no one else seems to remember:
Flash Forward. This one was on Disney, and was about two childhood friends who hit puberty. I loved it.

for some reason I could only find B&W photos…

Best lineup:
Sweet Valley High/ Breaker High. I loved this duo- first the twins in their ridiculously awesome outfits, then the ultimate kid dream, again… high school on a boat? No parents? Awesome. 


Best conversion of a movie to a TV show:
Clueless. Because it kept most of its original cast, minus Alicia Silverstone. And I loved Amber.

The topic is Haiti and she’s talking about some little party!

Show most ahead of its’ time:
All that. Basically a kids’ version/ rip off of SNL, you can now see Kenan from Kenan and Kel on SNL. Weird parallel universe. Whose next on the SNL cast… Amanda Bynes? I’d watch her, she’s great!


Most crush-worthy character:
Randy from Home Improvement! Despite Tim Allen grunting like a constipated bear and Pamela Anderson boobing all over the place, this show was a must-see for JTT, who you’ve already heard me gush about… However, when his voice changed a little of me died inside. At least I have my reruns…


Most enviable character:
Clarissa from Clarissa Explains it all or Sabrina from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Um, it’s a TIE, and they are both played by Melissa Joan Hart… weird…

Who but Clarissa could get away with these pants?

So there you have it. Some of the best moments, some of the worst. Good characters, annoying characters, relatable characters. I feel like I know them… sad…


Who did you love to watch? Do you remember this uber cheesy era of TV?


Meri