decisions, decisions

If you could choose your shopping trip, would you pick


Option A

The almighty megamall

Or Option B?
Textile Center, Minneapolis


Perhaps I should rephrase: If you are a Minneapolitan, and it’s the crazy holiday season, where would you do your Thursday night shopping? Option B? Me too, usually. I had unfortunate cause to absolutely have to go to MOA, so I decided to do it tonight instead of on the weekend (perhaps worse than the State Fair this time of year). I coped with some Cinnamon Tea. Thanks Caribou gift card from last Christmas…

With all of the Christmas cheer and good intentions in the world, going to a packed mall and fighting for deals can make anyone into Ebenezer Scrooge. So why would one put themselves through that when there are so many pleasant shopping experiences as an alternative? This month, I’ll highlight a few unique places in the metro area for those looking for unique gifts, local flavor, and a shopping experience you might even (gasp) enjoy! (this coming from a total non-shopper).

Up at bat here is the Textile Center, located at 3000 University Avenue SE, Minneapolis MN 55414. I discovered this place a few years ago, and keep returning for various reasons. The Textile Center wears many hats (click name above to view webpage) : gallery, library, workshop, classroom, gift shop, and more. They also frequently host special events and special sales, which I HIGHLY recommend attending (but you can occasionally expect that others will have heard of these events too- so plan for a popular place on these days!). 

So what can one expect if gift shopping at the Textile Center? I’ve seen beautiful felted ornaments, handmade mittens/hats/outerwear, clothing, unique jewelry, handbags that would surely elicit comments from strangers (we all have a few of these accessories or items of clothing, and know how good it feels!) It’s pretty cool to see folks doing fiber work in one studio, and right next door buy something beautiful made of that very same material. There is a wide variety of special things to make someone’s day on Christmas (or any day, really… if anyone wants to buy me a gift from here because it’s, say, a Tuesday? I would not object…).

I don’t work for the Textile Center, nor have any affiliation with them (and this goes for the other sites I will be covering over the month), I just like to share what I like. Anyone who knows me knows how much I like certain things and want to shout it from the rooftops (ahem, Skechers, Good Earth tea- maybe you should pay me for all of my years of word of mouth advertising). So if you want to check it out, here’s the info:



So, I’m not saying I don’t buy people presents at the mall. I just want to give people ideas who might not want to buy every little present for every person from some Brand Name catalog. 

So here’s to “happy shopping” this season (if you dare) and stay tuned for more fun places around the Twin Cities (and beyond). 

Cheerio!
Meri
Like this post? It’s part of a series! (click to view)
Retro-Active
Turf Club
The Bunny Suit
Decisions, Decisions (this post)
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jack frost…


…was here…



(Don’t worry mom and dad, this is in the hallway window. My home is nice and toasty inside!)

Welcome, December! Your first day sure was a brisk one. The elmer fudd hat will be out in no time. I even dug out my “real” winter jacket. (In Minnesota, we have our “kidding ourselves” winter jackets, nice peacoats and cute little things, and then we eventually succumb to the cold and bring out the “real” winter jacket. Am I right?)

In honor of this month, I am going to go full speed ahead holiday cheer. We’re talking embracing the bad with the good, and distracting ourselves from the frostbite, shoveling, shopping rage, and general driving CHAOS that is winter. One whole month of festivities! Who’s with me?

I love holidays: Christmas, 4th of July, my birthday, Dia de los muertos, Halloween, other peoples’ birthdays, saturdays, days that end in y where I invent a holiday… 
after all, who doesn’t like to party? So cheers everyone. Let’s enjoy the season. Whether it be Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year, Hannukah, Winter Solstice, your birthday (ahem), or just the wintery coziness, I’m here to bring ideas and cheer.

So the plan for Meri-Go-Round- a bit of a grab bag. I”ll also take requests. So far I have ideas including:

-favorite holiday treats
-holiday media rants- the good and the bad (miracle on 34th street, the nutcracker, mariah carey’s influence on christmas music, the Christmas story, Blue Christmas, Elf, Peef…)
-alternative and creative shopping ideas for when you would rather put a fork in your eye than go to the Mall of America on your Sunday off
-the roots of some Christmas traditions
-coping strategies for the holiday season (not to be confused with “simply drinking all of the christmas wine”

and more!

For tonight, I’ll leave you with this:
In particular, the gingerbread spice is very nice

Go buy this tea now, if you can find it. The gingerbread tea in particular is delicious. I drink it, actually, every single night lately, with a two-pack of biscoff cookies. It is a ridiculous combination. Really helps with the blogging (since I clearly am not motivated to do this every day for other narcissistic reasons). These teas, remembered from last holiday season, are the only tea that interrupt my increasingly troubling Good Earth tea habit. And they continue to be enjoyable through the whole cold winter. Even my fair-weather-tea-drinking parents were impressed by the Gingerbread variety.


You are welcome.

In other beverage news, this holiday season I WILL continue to imbibe the similarly limited time only cranberry sierra mist. I will NOT repeat the “candycane martinis” (vodka with a candy cane? is that what they were?) of a few birthdays past. Now it is in writing, so its set in stone.

Cheers!

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sass-squash

Start with Mr. (or Ms.) Spaghetti Squash

Show no mercy as you wield the almighty hatchet knife to halve the poor dear

Scrape out innards. Roast seeds if you have more patience than me…

heads down, seven up- on parchment…

bake for 45 to an hour at about 375

et voila! spaghetti strands of squash to scrape out with a fork! bon appetit!

Tis the season for fall foods. Tis nearly the season for winter foods (but more on that later). Tis the blog post about silly food words! (and the final word post for the foreseeable future). I love to make squash(es) like the one above. But squash is kind of a funny word for a food! After all, we don’t actually “squash” it, right? 


Oh, the things I ponder on the meri-go-round… 

What are some other silly food words? I’m so glad you asked!

-jambalaya, bouillabaise, gumbo, vichysoise are all funny soup names!
-eggplant- what the duck does this mean? I can think of a lot of eggier shaped foods than an eggplant, if that’s where it got the name… 
-spotted dick- Discovered this one upon visiting my sister in London in grade school. Imagine my poor parents and probably mortified sister at the pub when I dissolved into giggles at the spotted dick…
-snickerdoodle- huh? who made this one up?
-gherkin- can’t get over this one. another Bridget jones discovery i think. 
-grits- how is this appetizing?
-radicchio- this is man-go-round’s contribution. I asked him why, and if it had anything to do with the word “ridiculous,” but he just made a noise and went back to the hockey game. the world may never know…

what else? anyone else have food or cooking words that they think are funny?

Tomorrow is December, which shall begin a myriad of holiday cheer! 

G’night, and Goodluck.
Meri
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ET phone home

Greetings Readers and Friends- It’s fight night! 
grammar police vs. shameless botchers of the English language
old guard vs. cutting edge
queen’s english vs. newspeak

it’s getting ugly people- we’re pitting one part of speech against another… 

note the holiday greenery…

Verbs vs. Nouns? What on earth does this mean? 

Well, I’ll tell you. Last night I found myself telling someone, “I had a good time too. I’ll Snapfish you the pictures when I have a chance!”

Wait, who can pick the “irregular” verb out of that sentence? Bonus points if you didn’t gag at that pun… So, I frequently use nouns as verbs. I think we all are guilty of this to some degree. (“I have to google _____” anyone??) The question is- when does it become an abuse of the language to the point of obnoxiousness? I find that I use this a lot of times out of sheer laziness and wanting to abridge my speech and still be understood as much as possible. At work I might throw out “I’ll meet with you as soon as I session note my last kiddo.” At home I might refer to “emailing” or “phoning” someone (ah, the ET phone home title makes sense now, right??) Teens might talk about how they “text” their friends, and we all increasingly “message” someone, whether that be an instant message, a facebook message, or other. And speaking of the good book (facebook, that is), to “facebook” someone has surely become a verb, but does it really specify anything? Of course it doesn’t! To “facebook” someone could mean to “friend” them (yet another noun/verb), to view their profile, to “message” them, to post on their wall, etc. So this one doesn’t even cut to the chase, it just is a lazy substitute. 

I sometimes ask man-go-round to “gas up” the car. Or I currently would reply to his question, “hold on, I have to “blog” something quick.” I could go on and on and on. Frequently, these verbs in noun’s clothing are tech-speak. They are timesavers. They start as slang, and sometimes become real words (I believe google is accepted as a verb? Webster? any thoughts?)

What do we think of this? Is this a bastardization of real language? Or the way of the future? I certainly don’t think I”ll be stopping anytime soon… I”m not even sure I could if I tried. 

What do you think?
Charlie Brown christmas tree is up- stay tuned for another tree perhaps?
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jelly belly

Friends, Romans, and Countrymen:


Lend me your adjectives!

squirrely, ginger play together

puny darts up the tree, suddenly

Bushy is a bit unkempt, but what is scaring the wee one?

Sharp beaky crow! Caw Caw!

I watched this interaction outside of my window a few days ago, and the last photo was the point where the crow looked right at me and screeched for 5 minutes. No wonder that baby red squirrel shot up the tree so fast!


What we’re talking about here, though, is adjectives. Adjectives to describe people (or animals’) appearance. Some of these are a big more negative, some are more complimentary. My favorites are the ones that are the most descriptive, used more often in novels than in regular conversation. This, however, is a travesty. Why don’t we use words like:

corpulent, paunchy, squat, svelte, spindly, portly, burly, strapping

more often? Tell me you don’t hear words like:

Fleshy, broad, sinewy, solid, curvy, frizzy, wan

and not get a pretty clear image in your mind’s eye? Some of my favorites were favorites from the first moment I heard them, never to be forgotten for a lesser synonym again:

“voluptuous” (this was THE funniest word in junior high. the height of maturity)
“unctuous” (even saying this one makes me grin)
“lithe”
“gaunt”
“butterball” (okay, not an adjective per se but it sure fits the job “description”)

So, what is the best or worst way someone has ever described your appearance? I’ve definitely gotten “wee”before, which I don’t mind. In contrast, but making sense if you see my proportions, I’ve gotten “leggy” from time to time. These are the positives. I’m going to stop there, since they are so nice!

Bring em on people! Word nerd month doth approach its end… it’s not too late to join the conversation!
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willy-nilly

Hi there people! Today is a celebration!

Red Velvet in honor of my lovely niece


A birthday celebration, to be sure, but also a celebration of words! (what else, during word nerdery month?)

I want to focus a bit on the weird, wacky words that make me giggle or wonder what on earth they mean or where they came from. I could go into this further, but I think it would be easier to just list some examples. Some are English, some not, some from Crosswords, some heard out in the “real world…” As a kiddo we were pretty fond of the game “balderdash,” and the love of odd words just stuck with me. Whatever the reason, let’s celebrate them until they lose meaning and enjoy them! 

And please, add your own if you think of them!

-rosehips (roses don’t have bodies… do they?)
-nosegay (this one was always bizarre to me)
-pamplemousse (mineral water flavor, french for grapefruit I think)
-cicatrix- a very ominous name for a scar. J.K. Rowling, you might want to incorporate this into the 8th harry potter book i’m WILLING you to write…
-banshee- syllabic emphasis on “sheeeeee”
-rendezvous
-worcestershire (where on earth do all of the syllables go when you pronounce this?)
-bandit- love this word
-gewurtztremeiner (way too lazy to look up the spelling)
-emporium (what a magical word)
-biminy (no idea what this is, but our pontoon has a “biminy” top) oooh, pontoon should be in the “007” post…
-whippersnapper
-balustrade/ banister
-gubernatorial
-heartthrob (funny that this is used as a noun…)
-faberge
-mincemeat
-stink
-ramshackle


ahhhhhh I’m sure i’ll think of 500 more once this is published, so by all means sit with bated breath until I add some to the comments section 2 weeks from now… 

kidding.

Hope you enjoy this list. Hope you enjoy your weekend!
If you have silly, fun, or non-sensical words, please share them!

Party on wayne, party on garth…
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Visions of limited time offers danced in their heads…

The true meaning of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend is eating your weight in leftovers spending time with family and friends, reflecting on things we are thankful for, and if we’re lucky, enjoying time off of work!

Pumpkin pie, pumpkin decor

roasted roots, stuffing

green beans, cranberries, sweet potatoes in my favorite dish

crescent moon!

It is not, I believe, getting up at 3 am and fighting other adults in line at Toys R Us until the cops are called because you are butting in line and tattling on other kindergartners adults who are also budging. 


I clearly have issues with Black Friday. I did in fact go shopping today. I went to one store, I used my free coupon, and I did not buy crap I didn’t need. The restraint was like amphetamines to the brain (or maybe that was just my stuffing hangover from breakfast…)

Don’t get me wrong- I have no problem with people going shopping the day after Thanksgiving, looking for deals, and starting the holiday season with a bang. What I DO have issues with is the disgusting deluge of ads and marketing crap that have been raining on my parade for the last TWO WEEKS. I can’t open my mailbox, my inbox, or walk ANYWHERE without hearing about Black Friday Deals, EARLY Black Friday Deal “leaks,” THANKSGIVING DAY sales, in case you CAN”T POSSIBLY WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY!!!!!!!!! FOR SHOPPINGGGGGG!

Ugh. It should be noted here that I’m not crazy about shopping/ consumerism in general. I fared not so well at several retail jobs due to my disgust with trying to convince people to buy crap they didn’t need. If you need something, fine. If you just buy crap because it’s a good deal, you deserve to lose your money to the devil local retail giants.

How do they get us? How did I end up buying a pair of tights and a 16 oz microwaveable coffee mug with a lid (it is awesome, I will say. It was a fantastic buy and I”m so excited to use it). Why, stores use their marketing jargon of course, to trick us and guilt us into buying crap on an arbitrary day to compete with other loser retail giants.

What kind of words? I’m so glad you asked! How on earth will I research this? I know, I’ll look in my recycling bin for the 400,000,000,000 fliers I was sent! Some of them repeats!

-“while supplies last”- this one is from Showtime in my e-mail inbox. Sorry Showtime, but I don’t think you will run out of shirts that say, “shane’s got my back” in livestrong yellow anytime soon. Sure, Weeds is a good show, but I guarantee 5 people total will buy that shirt. you will never run out of this crap. Ever. lies.

-“don’t miss”- this one on lots of toy catalogs. Because if you miss this sale, you are a BAD PARENT. You might NEVER see a deal this good again, will not be able to afford it, SUPPLIES MIGHT NOT LAST, and you will probably be tossed out on your keister when you are older, with your grown children refusing to take care of you, because you did not get in line at 2:15 am to buy them that Wii game that will be obsolete in a year.

-“lowest price”- how do they know this? They do not know this. They have not checked ebay. They probably haven’t even checked other stores. Don’t take anyone’s word for this crap, and panic and buy crap you don’t need since it is clearly the lowest price. ever.

-The Target book (not ad, book. It’s like 100 pages) is full of confusing holiday puns and cheese. Some of my favorites are “give jolly/save merrily” “wrap up more savings” “oh what fun you’ll have at target.com” “scan joyfully and often” (seriously. that’s in there.) “serve up christmas spirit with savings on top””visions of flat screens dance in their heads”
and my personal favorite “give priceless memories on one of a kind gifts” – this is next to photo paper, memory cards, and ink cartridges- ah yes, those are INCREDIBLY ORIGINAL, ONE OF A KIND GIFTS for the one you love. Don’t bother knitting that sweater. Don’t look for their favorite book on amazon. Buy them a one of a kind memory card at the bargain basement price of $34.99 (I recently found out this is not in fact a low price for a memory card. Man-go-round is a vision of knowledge about where to get these things. Ask me if you ever want to know!)

-Finally, I have issues with products being marketed on a “green” gift to give others. Now, listen carefully. I believe in living green, however one might do that. The super icky part is when “green”ism and eco-friendly terminology is used to make people buy things they don’t need, thinking they are using products that are good for the environment, whether or not they really are. How green is it to buy a bottle of “green” clorox bleach from the store, when you could use natural products found in the home such as baking soda? How green is it to buy a bunch of stuff you don’t need because it’s on sale and it says it’s “eco friendly” (based on what regulations…) and you will feel great if you buy someone that green gift for christmas!

I have an idea. How about instead of listening to all this crap and buying what we’re told is a great deal, we think considerately about our loved ones, and buy them or make them or procure otherwise something that will make them happy and enrich their life. And if that gift happens to be in your Black Friday flier, you’re a lucky soul. But I’m pretty much willing to take my chances that I’ll find another bargain in the next month or so without standing out in the middle of a cold Minnesota winter night getting in a fistfight about Tickle-me-Elmo.

Ahh, now isn’t this just as palatable as those neverending leftovers? Tell me your thoughts, and tomorrow will be another glorious day. 

Tata!
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Gobble Gobble

Among all of the things I am grateful for today, our incredible earth and the creatures that inhabit it are up near the top…
Gobble Gobble

Uh oh….

Let’s get out of here before we get eaten!

Just the neighborhood turkey family! (back in September or so… today they are on my family’s plates… muah ha ha)

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good feast!

I thought it would be interesting to research which words we use commonly that have roots in Native languages of the Americas. I knew from one of my classes about Quechua culture that some of the words we use come from this language (It was always easy for me to remember quinoa/quechua because of the qs), and do sound like their origin. However, when doing a little investigating found some words that are a bit more surprising.

So here is your Thanksgiving word nerd treat, before I head to the delicious table!

-Pecan, Persimmon, Squash, Succotash (Algonquian)

-Avocado, Chocolate, Chili (Nahuatl)

-Jerky, Lima, Quinoa (Quechua)

-Cacique (okay, not a food, but one of my favorite spirits when in spain…), Casava, Guava, Potato, Papaya, Casava, Tobacco (not a food, but I guess I’ve made this food and drink) (Arawakan)

-Cashew, Cayenne, Tapioca (Tupi- Guarani)

I decided to focus on the food words since Thanksgiving is kind of a food holiday once we get past all of the thankfulness, but there are so many other words with origins from native cultures of the Americas that I had never connected. I really enjoy word origins and word “relatives” derived from the same parts, and so if you have any related word families related to food or drink please share them!

Have a Happy Holiday!

Tune in tomorrow for some Black Friday cynicism (I can’t be all gushy and thankful for too long)

Meri

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Walking in a winter wonderland… you old windbag!

The forecast for my walk home today (my walk home in celebration of the four day weekend!!!) is:
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? No, more like Snowy with a chance of … snowballs! What an unbelievably beautiful afternoon. It was much warmer than this morning, and everything was covered in these huge featherweight snowflakes. I walked around in awe for about a half an hour…




Winter wonderland! I’m really looking forward to this long weekend, and of course of course Thanksgiving tomorrow (must…have… sweet potatoes… now…. mrgggh green beans…. now…)

Of course I’m thankful everyday. But because I have one more day until I’m under an obligation of sorts to profess it from this very blog, I will instead focus today on the fools that make us want to scream, throw things, cuss, and generally make pain. 

Do you know who I’m talking about yet? It’s the person who makes you crazy at the office. It’s the person on the telephone/ service call who doesn’t seem to be listening despite your best attempts to repeat yourself and be patient and considerate. It’s the driver who “forgets” to see the crosswalk, as they make eye contact with you in the snowstorm… (this didn’t actually happen today, I’m imagining…).

What can we call these people? We all know that it is an incredible release to insult people when they make us nutbags about something. It’s sort of like swearing, but different. I am a firm believer in the creative insult. It takes a weak weak brain to call somebody an insensitive name that is derogatory to others. Yet people often don’t think about what they are saying, they just act out in frustration and habit. What’s a word nerd to do????

Well, compile a list of alternate insults to have at the ready! Tally ho!

-mouthbreather (thanks dad, I still love this one and use it several times a day)
-birdbrain (used this one today after an AHEM interesting phone call)
-turd burglar
-waste of space
-twit (old school)
-knucklehead
-dumba$$ (not very creative, but still funny to me to this day when taken literally)
-crapbag
-dunderhead (where on earth did I hear this?)
-useless sack of____ (i’m not censoring, I really do change what I fill in the blank with)
-turd (greatest word ever?)

what else? I”m drawing a blank under the pressure here now. Man-go-round is branching out into “your momma is so ____ that ____ ” and long-winded insults now. I can appreciate these here for their creativity, but I would never use them in daily language because I don’t feel they would provide the same release as a turn of phrase such as “buttwipe” which makes me laugh out loud and forget all of my troubles.

So, my challenge to y’all is:

1. (okay, there’s two challenges) Give me some comments and more ideas to the world!
2. Try to have a backstock of creative and funny insults/ names to call at the ready so next time you think your head will explode, you instantly think of one of these, laugh it off, and have a fabulous rest of your day. Or four day weekend.

Happy Holidays Y’all! I’ll be back tomorrow with some special pictures from my summer RESERVES!

Meri
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the village idiom…

battles the almighty euphemism in today’s post!


In one corner, we have the humble idiom, rising from uncertainty to confuse English Language Learners and put pepper in our gumbo (for example). 

See? that one is “straight from the horses mouth” aka my “Butter my butt and call me a biscuit” country sayings calendar I got for deep deep discount… can’t imagine why…


Idioms pop up more than we probably notice, and definitely more than is easy to control… I manage to have used two or more already without trying, then explaining them into context afterwards. Idioms are silly ways of saying things, in my opinion, and have a range of feelings about. If they are quite unique, as in the above example, they put a pep in my step. If they are quite cliched, I can tolerate them. If you can easily see where they come from, I usually don’t notice them. If they seem to have nothing to do with the real meaning, I will on occasion research them. I’ve found, though, that there is almost ALWAYS someone who already knows the story behind them, and all you have to do is ask enough times and someone has already done the research for you! Here are some I can’t quite figure out…

“in a pickle”
“cold feet”
“piece of cake”
“the bee’s knees” (is this one as simple as just because it rhymes???)
“true blue”
“break a leg”
“the big cheese”
“wet blanket”—well, this one is kind of in between. we’ll call it a stretch, and use it to segueway into the next category…

more obvious ones :

“up a creek without a paddle”
“barking up the wrong tree”
“raining cats and dogs”
“sharp as a tack”

Idioms seem to be a different way of saying something that you could easily say in more plain language. Euphemisms, on the other hand, generally are strange ways of saying things for the more specific purpose of avoiding saying something. Sometimes this is because we’re in the presence of children, sometimes we want to “slip something past someone” by using less harsh language, and sometimes we just want a little pepper in our gumbo, much like other slang!

Here are some of my favorites. I mean in NO WAY to offend anyone here… but these topics do tend to be a bit more… colorful (there, I used a euphemism already!) In the interest of delicacy, I’ll let you figure out what the “subject” of each is…

-Going to third base/ spending the night together/ horizontal mambo/ mile high club/ beast with two backs… and then there are choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, even “going to the bathroom.”we get it. If you would like to add your own, by all means I think there are a “few” more on this subject.

-Prairie dogging/ using the powder room/ dropping the kids off at the pool/ visiting the porcelain gods/ the throne/ or my new favorite, the biblical “cover one’s feet.” um, ew… next…

-pushing up daisies/ sleeping with the fishies/ passed on/ gone to another place/ six feet under

-batting for the other team (second category with baseball examples… very creative, us english speakers…)

-Aunt flo/ Surfing the crimson wave/ time of the month (a weak one, to be sure)/ shark week/ on the rag (clearly we NEED euphemisms on this topic, to be illustrated by the euphemistic “blue liquid” of tv adverts…)

-bun in the oven/ in the family way/ expecting/ with child

-in the slammer/ in the clink/ doing time (these are all pretty weak, I guess this topic isn’t too delicate for “mixed company” as these feel more like slang than euphemisms)

and some miscellaneous ones;
female escort, indisposed, “good personality,” “on a vacation/ at the spa,” between jobs, under the weather (i’m pretty sure this ALWAYS means hungover…)

What else is there? Anyone have a favorite?

My closing statement/ purpose/ mission statement is this:

In terms of usefulness, and in my opinion, value- these types of expressions range from: 
cliches——–>idioms——->euphemisms——–>original/colorful language

Obvs, it would be great to continually invent new ways of saying things each time we speak. But sometimes, we just have better things to do, or don’t want to spend the valuable time in communication with people that this might take. I find these new and original euphemisms and figures of speech tend to originate during time spent with friends and family, when we are comfortable enough to say something stupid, and when we live free from the fear that our “newspeak” will land us with a “nice family that lives on a farm” (final euphemism, i promise)

As sure as the forecast is dark, I’ll be back tomorrow
(oops, one more…)

Share your favorite euphemism or idiom! Bonus points for other cultures/ languages!
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